The Real World: Bayville
by Freeverse
Summary: 7 of the many Evolution mutants, along with 3 chaperones, are invited to stay in a house and have thier lives taped- to show the world what mutants really are. Sillyness ensues. Pairings coming up, and rated for future chapters! Phew!
1. Chapter One: It Begins

_**The Real World: Bayville**_

**Chapter One: It Begins**

* ~ *

_ This is a true story of seven mutants picked to live in a house and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting **real**. The Real World: Bayville._

Charles Xavier looked at the letter Ororo Munroe had presented to him with a grim expression. "Ororo, you can't seriously considering sending our students to take part in this ridiculous garbage."

The woman sighed. "I must admit, at first I thought it was only a sick joke, too. But the man is sincere in his efforts to expose the positive side of mutants. He wants to show the world what mutants really are. This show may possibly help mankind realize just how alike we really are."

"I still do not think it is a wise decision," Xavier said, thinking back to the episodes he had seen some of the children watching. He didn't think it was the most appropriate show for his charges to appear on. "But I will think about it."

The white-haired woman smiled. "That is all I ask."

She turned and walked out of Xavier's officer, closing the door behind her. The woman immediately shifted in Mystique and an evil grin tugged on her lips. "Now I'll prove to everyone that mutants and humans can't coexist peacefully. One we're exposed on national T.V., everyone will see how much power we have. They will run in fear! Ha ha ha ha!"

The woman realized where she was, coughed, and quickly shifted back into Storm. She laughed maniacally again. Hank walked by mid-laugh. He gave her a strange look, but walked away, mumbling something about the woman of the institute.

* ~ *

I'm sure this has been done before, but I always wanted to stuff some of my favorite Evo characters in a house together to see how much property damage they could cause. _


	2. Episode One: Introductions Aren't Necess...

**Real World: Bayville**

**Episode One: Introductions Aren't ****Necessary**

* ~ *

**Author's Note: **_This chapter and all the chapters following it will now be written in my own mix of laziness and script style. ( identifies actions) Everything else will be pretty easy to explain. The following mutants are as follows- Todd, Bobby, Remy, and Jamie for the guys. The girls are Rogue, Tabitha, and dum dum dum the horrible Jean. It was a hard choice, and I wished I could've included every mutant you guys wanted, but I wanted a certain clash of personalities and such. And for anyone disappointed with my choice of mutants: there will be guest stars! On with the fic!_

* ~ *

(Zoom in on a boy with brown hair and blue eyes. He ices himself up and laughs while he pours superglue into a bottle labeled shampoo. Female screams are heard. He drops the bottle and quickly rides off on an ice slide as three girls chase after his covered in permanent marker. Caption: Bobby Drake aka Iceman)

_This is a story..._

(Cut to a lovely girl with red hair and emerald eyes. She is kicking around a soccer ball with Boom Boom. She passes expertly to the blonde, who kicks it back. Unfortunately, she's made a miscalculation of distance and the ball is traveling towards a very expensive sculpture at high speed. A pink glow suddenly surrounds the ball and it floats harmlessly to the ground. She smiles at the camera. Caption: Jean Grey aka... Jean Grey?)

_Of seven mutants..._

(Cut to a girl with sort blonde hair, sunglasses, and an over-load of make-up. She is dancing around to the music in her Discman and blowing a massive bubble of pink bubblegum. It blows up and sticks to her face. Blue eyes widen. A boy walks by and laughs, but stops when her time bomb depants him. Caption: Tabitha Smith aka Boom Boom)

_Picked to live in a house..._

(Screen fades to a brown-haired boy who appears no older than twelve. He's playing Nintendo with Bobby and kicking his butt at it too. Bobby "accidentally" elbows him. The boy suddenly splits into four clones of himself. Bobby delivers the finishing blow while he glares. Caption: Jamie Maddox aka Multiple Man)

_And have their lives taped..._

(Cut to a grunge-looking boy with rustic brown hair, red-on-black demonic eyes, a goatee, and a brown trenchcoat. He's playing poker with the rest of the mutants. He had all the chips but two. When he reveals a royal flush, the others throw down their cards in anger. Caption: Remy LeBeau aka Gambit)

_T' see what happens..._

( Fade to a gothic girl with chin-length brown hair, a white streak, and an obvious fetish with purple make-up. She is lounging in a leather sofa with _The Vampire LeStat_ in her hand. Jean comes in and asks if she wants to go play pool with the rest of the teenagers. She only glares. Caption: ::blur:: aka Rogue)

_When people stop bein' polite..._

( The camera moves to the backyard where a poorly hygienic boy is hopping around and trying to dodge Remy's kinetically charged playing cards. He miss times a leap and collides into a tree. He slumps to the ground. A smug Cajun stands above him. His tongue darts out and catches a fly. Caption: Todd Tolanske aka Toad)

_And start gettin' real!_

(Zoom in on the mansion)

_The Real World: Bayville!_

(Title spans across the front of the house. Screen fades and the camera is now focused on the driveway, where people are pulling up. Zoom into a black SUV where the first three people are riding.)

Jean: Remember, Xavier asked us to appear on the show to set a good example for mutantkind all over the world. So we should be on our best behavior and show the world that we're just like normal people.

Bobby: Dude, it's Real World! Normal people do eachother and have wild parties!

Jamie: I've never been to a _real_ party before.

Jean: And you won't get the chance now. You're far too young. (turns to Iceman) And Bobby, if you play one more joke on anyone here, I swear you will get payback you've never dreamed of.

Bobby: You're ruining my fun, Jeannie!

Jamie: Well your jokes are just plain mean! You should really treat people better.

Bobby: God, why did you have to get cast?

Jamie: (thinks *Well besides the fact that Free wants torture me and the other mutants...*) Because of my adorableness? (puppy dog eyes)

Jean: He _is_ cute.

Jamie: See, I told you. (shyly looks up at Jean) So does that mean I have a chance with you?

Jean: Don't even try.

Bobby: (snickers) Nice one, Jamie.

(Cut to the inside of a beat up Camero. Gambit is driving and Rogue is in the passenger seat.)

Gambit: So I guess I'm roomin' wit you, p'tite? (He winks)

Rogue: (Rolls her eyes) Whatevah.

Gambit: Cat go yo' tongue, chere? Or are ya too stunned by my handsomeness t' reply?

(Screen fades to a close-up of Rogue. She's wearing a very angry expression and a very low-cut black shirt.)

Rogue: Why the hell did h have t' ride with that idiot? Let alone be on this ridiculous show? Ah mean, "chere" and "petite"? What is he thinkin'?! Why is he even hittin' on me? Who does he think he his?! Ah wish ah woulda rode with Jean instead. Ah know ah'm gonna end up hatin' this guy...

(Fade back to the car. "Big Pimpin'" plays in the background.)

Gambit: So you ya play good cards, chere? Mebbe Gambit'll teach ya so we can play some strip poker...

Rogue: In y'r dreams, creep!

(Camera fades to a close-up of Remy. He's smirking.)

Gambit: Hey, at first I t'ought she was gay. After all, she's a goth and this _is _de Real World. An if she not int' Gambit den she definitely has t' be gay.

(Cut to Tabitha and Toad.)

Tabitha: So just because I once lived with you, it means I have to drive you to the house and stink up this car in the process?

Toad: What's the deal, yo? The smell'll fade in a couple'a months.

Tabitha: This car needs to be back in the mall parking lot in two hours. I kinda borrowed it.

Toad: Don't ya mean ya jacked it?

Tabitha: I'm gonna give it back!

Toad: -Bleep-, .... Did I just get bleeped, yo? Anyway, I stole all the time an I at least admitted to it. But I guess since you a X-Geek now ya gotta act all goody-goody an whatnot.

Tabitha: (rolls her eyes) Puhlease. (as if to prove her point, she speeds off. Toad is thrust back into his seat as Tabby puts the pedal to the medal.) Wooo hooo! Real World here we come!

Toad: Ahhhhh! Oh God, I'm sorry. If ya get me outta this alive I'll take a shower tomorrow! I swear!

(Screen changes to the inside of the mansion, where the seven mutants are getting acquainted. The cliques have already started forming. The X-Men flock to one side, and the BoM members flock to the other. Gambit is mingling with the women of the house.)

Tabitha: So we don't have any adult supervision? That's so awesome!

(Enter a red-head with blue skin and yellow cat-like eyes. She wears a smirk, and a few mutants jump back in surprise. Caption: Raven Darkholme aka Mystique)

Mystique: As much as I'd love to leave you kids to your own devices, I guess I'm going to have to play baby-sitter. Xavier refuses to leave you children alone to play, so the director added me into the cast.

Toad: Ahhhh! (hides behind Gambit, who just laughs) Why'd they have to pick you?

Mystique: (counts off the reasons using her fingers) Because I'm beautiful and blue and evil... I guess the network just felt like representing the sexy, freaky, and evil mutants.

Rogue: (glares at Mystique) If they wanted some one freaky why didn't they ask Kurt? Besides, Toad's already here.

Toad: Hey! 

Mystique: (stiffens) Are you suggesting that anything that came out of _my_ womb is anything near freakish?

Bobby: (snickers) Yeah, well look at Rogue.

Rogue: You -bleep-ing jerk! (charges towards him)

Mystique: (separates the two mutants) I adopted Rogue. (narrows her eyes in Bobby's direction) And don't you think you can insult any of my children without paying, you little twip. (picks up Iceman by the throat)

(A growl is heard and Mystique drops the boy. A funny wing-haired man enters, sniffing the air. He is followed by a silver-haired woman with dark skin. Close up on the man. Caption: Logan aka Wolverine. Camera moves to the woman. Caption: Ororo Munroe aka Storm.)

Wolverine: I thought I smelled something foul.

Kitty: Like, Mr. Logan? Storm? What are you doing here?

Storm: Wolverine was already signed up to be a chaperone, but we both decided Mystique was not the best guardian for you girls. So I was also added.

Bobby: Aw, man, this isn't gonna be any fun! (groans)

Jean: Come on now, at least with Mr. Logan we can train a little.

(Everyone groans.)

Gambit: (leans over to Rogue) Too bad dis ain't survivor. She'd be de first one Remy'd vote off.

(Rogue stifles a laugh.)

Mystique: (looks at Ororo and Logan) They couldn't keep you two apart, could they?

Storm: (raises her chin, as though Mystique is beneath her) Where is Creed, Raven?

Mystique: (growls while Wolverine laughs. Everyone else looks confused.) My, this is going to be a fun experience. (she says this through gritted teeth.)

Storm: Now, children, I expect you to be on your best behavior. I do not want you to misrepresent the mutant race. Is that clear?

(Mumbles are heard)

Mystique: I don't care what you do, kids. Just find your beds and for Christ's sake, if any of you go near my room-

Wolverine: Raven!

Mystique: (turns to glare and folds her arms across her chest) What?

Storm: By the Bright Lady... tell me why have you made me suffer in a house with this woman?

Mystique: I should be asking the same question, Wind Rider.

Bobby: Catfight! (makes hissing noises) Now if only they'll rip off each other's shirts and roll around in the muddy brawl...

(Remy begins to salivate at the image)

Rogue: (punches Remy and kicks Bobby) You perverts! That's mah mom y'r talkin' about! Not t' mention... Storm!

Remy: (shrugs) Dey don' have anyt'ing t' do wit Gambit.

Rogue: (growls) Ah'm gettin' unpacked!!!

Jamie: (shrugs and follows her upstairs) Bye guys!

Tabitha: (bats her eyelashes at Remy) Sooo... you're an Acolyte, huh?

Remy: Oui, Mademoiselle.

Tabitha: (almost swoons) And French, too?

(Bobby, Toad, and Jean exchange glances. For once, they agree on something as they ascend to the rooms upstairs)

(Mystique is just glaring at Wolverine and Storm. They are glaring back. Tabitha and Remy walk off to the pool outside. Silence.)

*cut to pool*

Tabitha: Well, it was nice talking to you, Prince Charming. (giggles) I'll see you later for a swim, cutie!

Remy: (smiles) Uh, an could you do me a lil' favor?

Tabitha: Sure. What?

Remy: Invite a lil' p'tite belle by de name of Rogue t' join us? (winces when he sees her expression)

Tabitha: (throws a bomb at him) YOU JERK!

Remy: (is thrown back a few feet into the pool) I was hopin' t' get a swim in, but I also woulda liked t' change int' my trunks first.

*camera travels upstairs to the boys room*

Jamie: (jumps on the top bed of the bunk bed) I get the top!

Bobby: No way! You're going to make _yourselves_ fall off! (he paused, wondering if he just used the lamest way to describe Multiple's powers). You get the bottom bunk.

Jamie: (sulks) Fine! (He reluctantly climbs down and throws his duffel bag on the bottom bed.)

Toad: (rolls his eyes) I'll take the top bunk over here, yo! (hops up there)

Bobby: (plugs his nose) Couldn't you get your own room? I'm going to smell like Toad all day!

Toad: Oh, that reminds me. I promised da big man upstairs I'd shower tonight. (hops off presumably to bathe. Bobby and Jamie look at each other. They get down on their knees and praise the Lord.)

*cut to the adult's wing*

Mystique: (She actually is taping a line across the room) We stay on our sides. Is that clear?

Storm: (hands on hips) Your side is larger than mine!

Mystique: So?

Storm: I'm claustrophobic!

Mystique: Since when is that my problem?

(thunder cracks in the distance)

Mystique: Fine, fine! But I get the side by the bathroom! (readjusts the tape)

*cut to Wolverine*

(Logan is watching T.V., listening to the chaos all around him and smirking.)

* ~ *

Jean: _Next time... on the Real World: Bayville..._

_(Outside in the swimming pool. Rogue is lounging on a lawn chair, reading in a green bikini. She puts down her book and reluctantly walks over to get an umbrella for shade.)_

_Remy: (walks by and pinches her butt. Picks up his pace, whistling._

_Rogue: Why you!_

_Jean: (now a bleach blonde) Robert Drake! What did I tell you about your pranks?!_

* ~ *

Love it? Hate it? Please review! More coming up believe me! Mystique and Storm were pretty much added for comic relief because I love them bickering. Romy? Babby? - lol or whatever you wanna call it.


	3. Episode Two: Breakfast, Social Interacti...

**Real World: Bayville**

**Episode Two: Breakfast, Social Interaction, and Sour Pranks**

* ~ *

**Author's Note: **_This chapter and all the chapters following it will now be written in my own mix of laziness and script style. ( identifies actions) Everything else will be pretty easy to explain. For anyone disappointed with my choice of mutants: there will be guest stars! Rolo Babby (why didn't anyone want this? Tabby and Bobby are mad at you!) and Romy laterz. And as for Kitty appearing out of no where? I have no clue where that came from. I must've forgot she wasn't in this fic. Well anyway.... on with the fic! Oh yeah, this fic is set in the summer time. Cuz the kids obviously can't miss school._

_This is going to be a loooong chapter..._

_Oooh, BTW, who would you guys like to see guest star? Guest stars are coming up pretty soon so I wanna get an idea of who to include._

* ~ *

(The annoying buzzing sound of an alarm clock rips through the girl's room and Jean rises, stretches, and smiles. Tabitha groans, and Rogue turns over after heaving a pillow strategically at the device. The alarm clock flies off the bed stand and a crunch is heard as it lands on the wooden floor.)

Jean: (glares) Hey! (walks over and rips the covers off the half-awake girls)

Rogue: (shivers) Thisisnothappeninthisisnothappenin...

Tabitha: (shoots up from the bed) Ugh! Why do we have to share a room with you? And if you wanna get up at 8:00 in the morning, you sure as hell don't have to wake the whole -bleep-ing house up!

Rogue: (shoots the blonde a look) Think ya just gone an done that y'rself, Tab.

Jean: Come on, girls. I bet breakfast is ready.

Rogue: (grabs her blanket and stubbornly crawls back in bed) Ah'll be ready f'r food when ah'm done sleepin'.

Tabitha: (ditto, but can't seem to get comfortable) Great, Jean! Now I can't get back to bed!

Jean: Sorry!

Tabitha: Whatever. (trudges in the bathroom and shuts and locks the door)

Jean: Hey! I was going to use that!

Tabitha: Too bad. I have to get ready.

Jean: (whimpers) But I have to go pee...

Rogue: (places pillow over her head) Shut up!

* ~ *

(Camera moves over to the boys room. Dead silence except for Toad's snoring. Jamie is the only one out of bed. He groggily climbs out of bed and finds his way down to the kitchen. Ororo and Logan are already there, preparing breakfast as expected. Jamie notices, though he doesn't think much of it, that Storm's ankle is touching Wolverine's leg as they sit at the counter and discuss the situation over orange juice.)

Storm: (looks up, surprised) Jamie! You're up early.

Jamie: (climbs onto a barstool) This is the only way I ever get a meal in the institute.

Storm: (gives him a sympathetic glance as she pours another glance of OJ) You won't have that problem here. 

Wolverine: (chuckles) I'm still trying to imagine what Hank and Chuck are goin' through trying to keep the rest of the runt in check.

(Storm hands Jamie the glass)

Jamie: Thanks. (takes a sip)

Storm: (smiles at Wolverine as she flips a pancake) This is nice...

Wolverine: *gruffly* Quiet...

Jamie: And I'm not getting pushed around!

(The momentary calm is suddenly shattered as the rest of the kids run downstairs- the boys still in PJs and the girls showered and ready to go. Mystique is the only one missing, as she is still sleeping soundly.)

Rogue: Ah need some God-damn coffee an ah need it now! (lunges for the pot.)

Storm: Rogue! Such language!

Wolverine: (smirks) Ah, she ain't a mornin' person. Is that really so suprising, 'Ro?

Tabitha: Blame it on Jean. She woke us all up. (she puts some toast in the toaster and grabs an apple to munch on)

(Jean and Bobby raid the cupboard for cereal. Bobby grabs a pancake fresh off the skillet.)

Bobby: Thanks, Storm.

Jamie: (Quickly reaches for a pancake before it's all gone) Hey! Leave some for me!

Remy: (Sits next to Rogue, coffee cup in hand) Ah, so I found her.

Rogue: (gives him a strange look) Who? (looks around)

Remy: De fille o' my dreams. (winks) Beautiful, smart, an appreciates a good cup o' Java.

Rogue: (rolls eyes) Oh, give me a break! (pushes him off the barstool and pours some more coffee into her cup.)

Remy: (rubs his head) Never t'ought it would hurt so much t' fall fo' a girl.

Rogue: (gulps coffee, silently wishing it would wake her up from this nightmare)

Jamie: (looks at Toad) Hey, aren't you going to eat something?

Jean: Don't. Ask.

Todd: (looks offended) What? (hops outside) Anyway, I'm off to catch me some grub! Fly a la mode here I come, yo!

Tabitha: Too late...

Jamie: (winces as he receives glares from the two girls) Uh, sorry I asked.

Bobby: (ices up a glass of OJ) Ah, nice and cold. (sips it)

Tabitha: (bites into toast, but realizes that its frozen) You creep! (throws a time bomb at Bobby. It misses and explodes in Rogue's coffee instead. Columbian Hazelnut is now dripping from her face.)

Rogue: Big mistake. (reaches over and grabs Jamie's pancake, hurling it at Tabitha's face)

Jamie: Hey!

Tabitha: (narrowly dodges the flying food) Watch it!

(Pancake hits Jean's arm, dropping to the floor in a syrupy and sticky mess. Jean uses her telekinesis to dump a glass of OJ on Tabitha's head.)

Tabitha: (blindly throws another time bomb.) -Bleep-! (the bombs hits Remy, practically depantsing him)

Remy: Hey! (throws a charged playing card that lands on Jamie's head. Jamie, in turn, throws a piece of toast, but has bad aim and nails Wolverine instead.)

(All chaos breaks loose. Everyone, including the adults, are throwing food. Stuff is flying everywhere. Mystique walks in the kitchen just in time for a stick pancake to attach itself to her face. Everyone is silent, waiting for the shapeshifter to flip.)

Mystique: (peels off the food) Who threw it?

(silence)

Mystique: WHO THREW IT?!

(Everyone points at Jamie, who is obviously innocent)

Mystique: (charges) You little -bleep-!

(Jamie high-tails it out of there. Storm and Wolverine chase after the blue-skinned assassin who is obviously out for blood.)

Bobby: (clears his throat) Pool party, anyone?

(screen fades and various threats and screams are heard.) 

Storm: Put him down NOW, Mystique, or I will fry your -bleep-. 

Wolverine: (does a double take to make she he heard right) Damn, Raven. You better put the kid down. 'Ro's pissed. 

Jamie: (flailing about in Mystique's death grip) HELP! 

Mystique: I just took a -bleep-ing shower, you twit. I was nice and relaxed and ready to start my day until you little brats had to put me in a foul mood. 

Jamie: But I didn't do it! It was Bobby! It was BOBBY! ACK! 

Mystique: Quite frankly, I don't care who did it, because I'm going to kill each and everyone of you little -bleep-s and in doing so, save the world from the horrifying aspect of repeating your genetic code. (evil smirk) And mark my words, I will enjoy it! 

Storm: (trying to pull the woman away from Jamie) Raven, calm down! It was only a pancake! 

Mystique: A pancake with syrup that just so happens to be a giant -bleep- to get off without me having to waste my precious time with another shower. 

Storm: Stop it! You're giving us mutants a bad name! Think of what the viewers are going to think when they see the way you're behaving. 

Mystique: (pause) I could, but I won't because I don't give damn. 

*SNIKT* 

Wolverine: You gonna put him down or am I gonna have t' make ya? 

Mystique: (glares) 

Wolverine: (glares) 

Jamie: (can't breathe) 

Storm: (watches the glares, interested) 

Mystique: Fine! I'll let him live- for now! (makes a show of roughly dropping Jamie) I hope we've got liquor in that refrigerator because I'm going to need it! (walks off muttering something about kids and why she actually came up with this plan anyway) 

Storm: (helps Jamie up) Are you all right? 

Jamie: Yeah, thanks to you guys. 

Storm: You really should be more careful. 

Wolverine: Yeah, looks like the other kids have got it in f'r ya. That, and Mystique's a crazy -bleep-. 

Storm: Logan! 

Wolverine: (shrugs) They'll bleep it out... 

(The camera moves to the pool out back. It's around noon. Everyone but Rogue is in the pool swimming. Rogue is sitting in the shade and reading a book, completely covered up and obviously very miserable because of the heat. Everyone else is having a grand time in the Olympic size pool. "Summertime" by Sublime plays in the background.) 

Jamie: (splashes the lawn chair she's sitting on) Come on, Roguey! Have some fun. 

Rogue: (mock-sweetly) Jamie, sugah, do ya have death wish? 

Jamie: (reluctantly cowers away) 

(Zoom in on Tabitha, Jean, Bobby, Toad, Jamie, and Remy.) 

Tabitha: All right, that's it. We're going to get that cynical little -bleep- to have some kind of fun today if it takes us all night! 

Jean: Amen to that. I'm getting sick of her moping around. I'm psychic... she's miserable in this heat and she sure isn't having a grand time over there by herself. 

Bobby: Well, I could always cool her down... 

Remy: Turnin' Roguey int' a Popsicle ain't an option, homme. 

Jamie: But how are we going to get her to come down here? 

Toad: Don't ask me, yo. I lived wit' the chick, too, remember? She would never go anywhere- even if we tried t' drag her there. She ain't exactly Miss Social, if ya know what I mean. 

Remy: Den leave it t' me. Ain't no fille resist Gambit. 

Jean: (raises an eyebrow) Oh really? I'd like to see the day when you get Rogue_,_ who is obviously annoyed at your advances, to change into a bathing suit and swim with _you_ of all people. 

Tabitha: Hell, I'd even like to see you get her to put down that book. 

Remy: Dat a challenge, chere? 

Tabitha: Yeah, it's a challenge. Let's even make it a bet. 

Bobby: I'm in then. 

Jean: Me too. 

Toad: No way! You're psychic! That ain't no fair! 

Jamie: Count me in. I'll bet you ten dollars that Gambit will get her in the pool. 

Remy: Nice t' see dat somebody got faith in Remy. Kinda makes me regret pointin' de finger at ya earlier. 

Bobby: I don't, because it was funnier than -bleep-! 

Jean: (smacks Bobby on the head) That wasn't funny... actually... it kind of was.... 

(everyone laughs at the recollection) 

Remy: Well, au reviour, everybody. 'm 'bout t' catch me a Southern Belle. (climbs out of the pool. Everyone watches as he walks up to Rogue) 

Jean: I'll give him ten seconds to get a few words in before Rogue shoves him in this pool... 

Tabitha: Or kills him... 

Jamie: Or slaps him... 

Bobby: Or punches him... 

Toad: Or looks him in the bathroom fo' a whole day... 

(Everyone stares) 

Toad: She told me t' leave her alone an take a shower. I call her a -bleep- an the next thing I know, I'm gettin' thrown in a bathtub an locked in the room. But after a while I finally got that window opened and hopped out. (pause) That chick's crazy, yo! 

(Camera fades to Toad. Zoom into face. Camera man gets too repulsed, so he zooms out a little. Caption: Todd Tolensky aka Toad) 

Toad: Man, that Rogue girl is seriously -bleep-ed up in the head. Go figure. Look who her mom is, yo! And they all look at me like I'm the insane one! (a fly zooms by and he sticks out his tongue to catch it.) 

(gagging sounds are heard from behind the camera) 

(zoom into Rogue, who is stripping out of her soaked clothes to reveal a metallic green bikini. She makes a pile by the lawn chair, and then settles back in the chair to read) 

Remy: (walks by, then goes slack-jawed at her practically bare body) Uhhh... Hellooo, chere. 

Rogue: (looks up from _The Witching Hour_) Oh. You again. 

Remy: (sits down by her) Lovely day fo' a swim, eh p'tite? 

Rogue: Not really. Ah don't like t' swim. Ya know what all is in a pool? 

Remy: Chemicals? An if Gambit knew exactly, he prob'ly wouldn't be swimmin' in one now would he? 'Sides, it might cool ya down a lil'. Ya look hot, an not jus' in de temperature sense... (leers) I mean, damn, where you been hidin' dose t'ings, chere? 

Rogue: (punches him) Creep! 

(Everyone at the pool is now looking incredulously at Bobby.) 

Bobby: Past experience. Pay up. 

(cut back to the Romyness) 

Remy: (rubs his jaw) Chere, ya may have hit me, but I still ain't woken up from dis dream yet... 

Rogue: Oh _please!_ (puts book down. Gets up to get a beach umbrella, as the sun is shining right on her chair.) 

Remy: (follows her) Where ya goin', chere? 

Rogue: AWAY FROM YOU! (finds one, and then turns to walk to the lawn chair.) 

Remy: *sigh* Fine, Remy leave you alone. (She turns away from him and he grins. He walks by and pinches her butt. He picks up his pace and walks away, close to the edge of the pool, whistling) 

Rogue: (drops the umbrella) Why you! 

(She charges at him, meaning to throw him into the pool. Of course, Remy is very agile and he moves away just in time for Rogue to realize her mistake and plunge into the icy water.) 

(Rogue surfaces, gasping for air) 

Rogue: -Bleep-! 

Remy: (just laughs and dives into the pool) Weeell, guess ya just couldn't resist goin' fo' a dip in de pool wit me, huh? Next time we should try skinny dippin', p'tite. 

Rogue: (growls) Ah'll get ya back, Gambit. You just wait. 

Remy: (pauses) 'm waitin', Roguey. 

Rogue: (shoves him) Shut up! 

Remy: (laughs again, and then swims over to the group) I do believe me an de Jamester here said ten bucks? 

Jean: Cheater! 

Remy: (mock-innocently) I got her in de pool, didn't I? 

Tabitha: (giggles) That was smooth. 

Bobby: Yeah, I've got to give you credit. I think Rogue really is falling for you... literally. 

(Everyone groans)' 

Toad: I may smell, but da stench ain't as bad as yo' jokes. 

Jean: (suppresses a laugh) Ouch! 

Bobby: (attempts to turn the toad into a Frogsicle) 

Toad: Whoa! It was a joke, yo! (jumps away, frightened) No one gets my sense of humor! 

Gambit: (calls after him) Where's my money, homme? 

(Close up of Bobby. He smiles goofily. Caption: Bobby Drake aka Iceman) 

Bobby: They can't deny it. My jokes are brilliant! And my pranks? (laughs) Nothing short of genius. Just stay tuned to see what I have in store for the girls in an unsuspecting shampoo bottle... 

("Original Prankser" by the Offspring plays in the background. Footage shot a while back, before everyone went out to swim. Time is displayed on the bottom: 10:53 A.M. Bobby sneaks into the girls room with a bottle of at-home hair bleach. He grabs a bottle of Herbal Essence and pour the bleach into it. He shakes it up and then leaves.) 

(End flashback. Hello present time. Jean walks into the bathroom.) 

Jean: Ugh, I can't wait to get this chlorine smell off from me. 

Tabitha: (Drying off her hair) Does my hair look lighter to you? 

Jean: Sorta. Hmmm... maybe it was the sun. 

Tabitha: (shrugs) Oh well... 

(Bathroom door closes as Tabitha steps outs. Camera watches Tabitha put on her make-up. Shower turns on. Tabitha turns on her stereo and listens to the Donnas. The shower turns off. A scream is heard a few minutes later. A bleach blonde Jean runs out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around her body. Tabitha's eyes grow wide. Rogue chooses that exact moment to walk upstairs. She starts to laugh hysterically at Jean's new hair color. A camera flashes in Jean's face as Bobby takes off down the hallway.) 

Jean: (fumes as she runs after him) Robert Drake! What did I tell you about your pranks?! You're one dead man! 

_Bobby: Next time (if Jean doesn't kill me)... on The Real World: Bayville..._

_Jean: I'm sick of his pranks. We're taking matters into our own hands!_

_Tabitha: You mean I kissed... her?! She was pretending to be him the whole time?! That has to be the most totally disgusting thing I've ever experienced in my life!_

* ~ *

Mwahahaha! Three guess to who Tabby's bitchin' about. And the first two don't count. Please review I looove your comments!!! I'm hyper too WOOOOO!


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